May We Be Forgiven by Homes A. M

Author:Homes, A. M. [Homes, A. M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2013-09-17T16:00:00+00:00

“Apologies for the intrusion,” the front desk says.

“You think you have a normal family,” Nate says, as he’s straining on the toilet. I am breathing through my mouth and trying to listen attentively. “And then something like this happens, that’s not so normal.” An enormous explosion escapes him. “I don’t mean this,” he says tapping the bowl, “I mean Mom and Dad. … In just a phone call, your life changes. …” An enormous bellowing belch from his behind fills the air with fumes. “Sorry,” he says. “You don’t have to stay in here with me.” I shrug. And then, as he’s sitting there, he suddenly says, “I’m gonna barf.” I pass him the trash can, which luckily has a plastic bag in it. And he barfs and expels at the same time, and I feel bad for the kid. “Do you think we need a doctor?” He shakes his head. “No, this has happened before, I’ll be okay,” and he throws up again.

“I think we’ve been had,” I say, trying to make light of the situation.

“In what sense?” Nate asks.

“First me, then you; let’s hope Ash and the boy don’t get it.”

“Fuckin’ Thin Mints,” Nate says, spitting into the trash can.

“What do you think of the kid?” Nate asks.

I say nothing.

“I think he’s very funny,” Nate says. “He reminds me of Charlie Chaplin.”

“How so?”

“The way he walks, like he’s waddling, and his facial expressions are very rubbery.”

“Do you think he’s smart?” I ask.

“Why is that the criteria?” Nate defensively replies.

“Good question.”

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